5 times a Bridesmaid and never a Godmother19th August, 2020
OK, I’m going to preface this by saying I’m not sure I have a real point to this but its always been a fun fact for me to throw out there in conversation.
I’ve been a bridesmaid 5 times and no one has ever asked me to be a Godmother.
Now I can keep this simple and surmise I’m a great friend, and in one case the obligatory sister addition, and I’m just a bit too much fun to be a godmother.
It doesn’t bother me anymore, I have a darling niece and nephew who I get to pore all my auntie love on, so be it.
But at one point I really used to question why no one ever asked me to be a Godmother?
Was it because I wasn’t married that I wasn’t being asked?
– Is that a thing, is it couples who get asked to be godparents?
Does my travelling lifestyle seem a little too risky for godparenting duties?
Am I not responsible?
Do I not seem like the caring sort?
Do people think because I don’t have kids, I wouldn’t want to be a godmother?
Do you think I’m not able to look after your kids?
I had all the questions and none of the answers.
Its not really the question you pose to your friends to be honest because it sounds kinda creepy, doesn’t it?
“Can you bequeath your next child to me in the event of your untimely death” so I don’t feel so rejected about my apparent lack of godmotherlyness (not even sure that’s a word but I’m going with it).
I did share my concern once with a good friend years ago after she had her first child. In a non-creepy conversational manner of course and I’m pretty sure she flattered me with comments of one day being a great mother to my own children. Oh yeah, that old chestnut. Except that never came about and she had a 2nd child and I have no idea who the godparents are (or if that’s even a thing for her because, to be honest… I can hardly remember the last time I went to a christening).
So, maybe it’s our generation, they just aren’t Christening their children and naming godparents. Ok, that would slim down my odds.
In any event, here is my godmothering resume.
1. Was it because I wasn’t married that I wasn’t being asked?
a. Not being married means I have all the time and love in the world to look after your darling ones in the event of a terrible disaster.
2. Does my travelling lifestyle seem a little too risky for godparenting duties?
a. My travels are inspiration for young minds to ensure they too see the world and experience what it has to offer, and my advice is well rounded from years of meeting people from different worlds and cultures.
3. Am I not responsible?
a. I’ve been very responsible with myself. Fiscally capable, I own 2 houses (ok, I share them with the bank but who doesn’t) and a beach share house. I have looked after myself in lands far from family for the best part of my adult life. I know how to handle myself and protect those I love.
4. Do I not seem like the caring sort?
a. I don’t think you could find a more doting fur baby mother. My cat of 8 years and dog of nearly 2 are ridiculously spoilt and would like to be added as references to this resume. Available on request, in exchange for treats of course. See responsible, they receive excellent health care and regular vaccinations. I might lose anti-vaxxers on that one I realise.
5. Do people think because I don’t have kids, I wouldn’t want to be a godmother?
a. I didn’t choose not to have kids, this happened by circumstance. I wanted a brood of kids. I never met the right guy and chose not to do it alone. Please don’t judge me for this.
6. Do you think I’m not able to look after your kids?
a. I think all the above affirms my ability and kind heart to caring for your child/ren.
The thing is I should have circulated this Resume a little earlier as now all my friends have had their kids and it’s not relevant.
Plus, now I’m moving forward with my childfree life and I’m quite enjoying my freedoms.
I’ve moved passed feeling left out of so many conversations because I couldn’t talk about school pick-ups or stomach bugs. I’m finally relaxing into my world without the judgement of being childless, so this was truly a reflection piece.
Please don’t inundate me with offers now because I’m just not sure it will fit my fresh new outlook and lifestyle. I’m open to a wine and discussion though.